She Can’t Sing, She Can’t Dance.. But Who Cares? She IS Rihanna

 

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So I am still astounded at how Rihanna has sold out the Twickenham Stadium which is the reason for this blog entry (and my first one at that, yay!)

Why am I astounded? Well because the girl cannot for the life of her perform live.. at all. She sounds like she is suffering numerous asthma attacks whenever she tries to hit a note. And even when she does it’s weaker than a bridge made out of match sticks.

Now before all her ‘Navy’ come and attack me let it be known I am actually a fan of Rihanna. I have 5 out of her 7 albums on my iTunes, I have played ‘Birthday Cake’ in excess of 7,000 times ( don’t ask why it just felt right to hear her sexualise a birthday treat like that ok!) and am generally a fan of the music she and her team put out.

My issue with her is that she is a terrible performer and is unable to justify her reasons for being the biggest name in Pop music today. Yes she has come a long way since that sweet little Bajan girl wanting the DJ to ‘tun it up’ and it shows in her image and sound. She is a lot more sexually confident, she exudes an essence of ‘cool’ which not many singers can do and above all she is interesting. She is an enigma, for all her faults she is someone we all want to know about and read about. This is probably why she sold out the Twickenham stadium, people just wanted to see what all the fuss is about. This is also known as ‘hype’.

Hype is all well and good and artists need hype in order to build up interest but what is Rihanna’s hype based on? Vocal ability isn’t everything when being a successful performer, just ask Britney Spears and Jennifer Lopez but unlike these two ladies Rihanna cannot dance either. Her live performances are beyond lack lustre and she doesn’t possess the dancing ability of Britney Spears in order to detract from the fact that she cannot sing. Any time Rihanna does attempt to dance it is normally her native ‘whine’ which involves moving your hips fluidly. But Rihanna cannot even do that. Her hips move like someone confused between whining and doing the robot. Its that rigid.

I feel if anything the reason why Rihanna is able to sell such large numbers for her tours is because she is somewhat relatable. She uses Twitter and Instagram as a way to connect with her fans (and naysayers) and people like that. I like that. It makes her more ‘real’. Sometimes its easier to gravitate towards someone who is like us compared to someone who believes she is the second coming of Jesus Christ and keeps her fans at great distance to the point where some just lose interest (hello Beyonce). But hey lets not get into that!

Whatever the reason for Rihanna’s success all I can say is that whoever is behind her team has a done a pretty damn good job in making a girl from Barbados this international pop star/fashion icon/ female Wiz Khalifa. Especially as Caribbean singers don’t really cross over to the mainstream often. So Kudos on that!

But im hoping as she preps for her EIGHTH studio album in as many years that she shows some artistic growth or something that warrants her success. And at the very least and for the love of everything good in this world LAY OFF THE WEED AND FOCUS ON GETTING A VOCAL COACH AND CONTROLLING WHAT LITTLE RANGE YOU HAVE IN YOUR VOICE!!! I cannot handle watching another live performance of Rihanna sounding like Stevie from Malcolm In The Middle!!

 

Adios!

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