LIFE

BLEH.

I'm having a moment.

I’m bored.

Yes, I know what you’re going to say: ‘You’re only bored because you’re boring’.

I’ll admit that is low-key true. But still!

I don’t know, I’m just not feeling inspired or excited about anything.

God, that sounds so wanky to say. Like I’m some East London hipster who has just been told his favourite artisan coffee shop has run out of those vegan brownies he has with his flat white.

FYI I had a flat white for the first time last week. I’ll stick to my hot chocolate thanks.

I guess I’m just not where I want to be at this moment in time and that’s leading to me feeling so BLEH about things.

BLEH. That’s such a good (sort of) word to describe how I feel.

One thing you must know about me is that I’m awfully hard on myself. I always have been. I’m a sucker for lists and setting goals and I put all my energy in meeting those goals. I’ve been told it’s a Virgo trait, that and also striving for perfection. I mean, BEYONCE is a Virgo and look at how hard she is on herself!

Things at work are weird at the moment. I’m in the industry I want to be in, but in the complete wrong role. Where I work is going through some major changes, expanding some parts of the company and shrinking others – I’m in the latter.
HONEY! They’re shrinking my job for fucks sake.

I’ve not been there long, about six months now and I’m itching to jump before I’m pushed. But where do I go? Actually, I know where I want to go but how do I get there?
I need a change of scenery. I think London is slowly draining me of energy (and money, obvs).

I haven’t travelled this year at all. To think just two years ago I was hopping on planes going across the world. Granted, I was living with my dad and he wasn’t making me pay rent. Man that was a cushy deal.

It’s a shame he’s homophobic and doesn’t know his son is a raging homosexual. But thing is, I think he does but he’s playing dumb. Who knows?

If I step back and look around me, things are OKAY. Like, I have good friends, a job, my health – you know – all the bells and whistles. But I’m just bored.

I want to do more. I want to be more.

God, I need to chill the fuck out don’t I?

I need stop getting inside my own head so much.

Obviously that’s easier said than done. But maybe I should actually do something about it.

I’m sure things will figure themselves out in time, as my mum always says. She’s such a worrier by nature, it’s one trait I wish I didn’t have of hers. I wish I had her clear skin though!

I should listen to my mum more. Things will be okay in time.

I just really needed to get this all off my chest and out of my head.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s